GREENS CAPSULES/EST. BATCH NO. FV24

Stay healthy,
without the
salad.

11 vegetables in 1 tiny pill, 2 a day, with water. The most honest thing in your medicine cabinet.

CLICK HERE IF YOU'RE LAZY

(why do you think we started this)

SEE WHAT IT REPLACES →
F*CK VEGGIES Greens Capsules bottle
F*CK VEGGIES·11 VEGETABLES·2 CAPSULES A DAY·MADE IN USA·THIRD-PARTY TESTED·NO SALAD·NO CHOPPING·NO EXCUSES· F*CK VEGGIES·11 VEGETABLES·2 CAPSULES A DAY·MADE IN USA·THIRD-PARTY TESTED·NO SALAD·NO CHOPPING·NO EXCUSES·
We are lazy

91% of us don't
get enough veggies.

Only 1 in 10 adults hits their daily vegetable recommendation. You already knew you weren't the exception. Now there's a pill for it.

Source: CDC · Behavioral Risk Factor Surveillance System, 2019
The inconvenient math

What two capsules replace.

The "healthy" way
  • 1.5 cups of broccoli
    raw, chopped, and miserable
  • 3 cups of raw spinach
    basically an entire salad bag
  • 4 cloves of garlic
    good luck with your social life
  • 1 cup of shiitake mushrooms
    cooked — yes, you'd have to cook them
  • 1 cup of kale + 2 carrots
    massaged with lemon. this is your life now.
  • 1 beet, 2 tomatoes, + celery
    stains your hands purple for two days
Est. prep time: 35 minutes. Every single day. Or don't.
Next batch cutoff in --:--:--
OR
2 capsules
Once a day. With water. No peeling, no chopping, no lying to yourself about the salad you'll make this week.
Zero prep · zero cooking
$1.40/day on the standing order
What's actually in it

Eleven vegetables.
Zero excuses.

Everything your mother told you to eat, minus the guilt trip. Formulated with BioPerine® black pepper extract for absorption. Nothing else — no filler, no mystery. Just America in a pill.

01
Broccoli
Broccoli
Antioxidants, vitamin K, vitamin C. The original overachiever.
02
Spinach
Spinach
Iron, folate, lutein. Popeye was right — he also lived in a cartoon.
03
Garlic
Garlic
Allicin for immune support. All the benefit, none of the breath.
04
Shiitake
Shiitake
B vitamins and immune-supporting polysaccharides. The fancy one.
05
Kale + Celery
Kale + Celery
The wellness influencer's props. In here because they work.
06
Beet + Tomato
Beet + Tomato
Nitric-oxide support and lycopene. Beets without the purple hands.
Also: Carrot · Brussels Sprouts · BioPerine® for maximum absorption
Made in America · GMP-Certified

Made in America.
Of course it is.

Manufactured in a GMP-certified facility on US soil and third-party tested. Small batches, hand-labeled, honest label. We're not saying it's the most patriotic supplement on the market — but we're not not saying that.

*If you don't like that, go f*ck yourself.
11
Real vegetables
2
Capsules a day
24h
Subscriber shipping
0
Salad-bar trips
Mount Rushmore — made in America
From people who hate vegetables

Real reviews. Real relief.

★★★★★

"I have not eaten a vegetable since 2019. Started this, still fine, now unconcerned. Same outcome, way less suffering."

MIKE D. — DALLAS, TX
★★★★★

"I used to spend $14 on green juice from a place called 'Nourish.' Now it's $1.40 a day and I feel exactly the same. Smartest decision this year."

SARAH K. — NASHVILLE, TN
★★★★★

"My wife hid spinach in my smoothie for two years. This is the same thing, but I know about it and I consented. That distinction matters to me."

DAVE R. — PHOENIX, AZ

You're all the way down here?
Just take the pill!

The vegetables aren't going to eat themselves.
That was always your job — which is exactly why you're here.

Start your subscription — $36.75/mo
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